Chloe was just about 18 months when we found out we were expecting again. Chloe girl ~ our whole heart, our only baby ~ would be getting a brother or sister. We were a bit surprised … okay, very surprised (and very thankful we had not yet booked that Iceland trip for the same month this baby was due!) … but we felt ready. Ready to welcome another member into our little family, ready for the newborn cries, the sleepless nights, the sweet, sweet snuggles. My greatest concern throughout the pregnancy, though, was helping Chloe through the transition. It’s overwhelming in a bittersweet sort of way. Our first baby would no longer be our whole world. I knew it might be hard on her, but I also knew we were giving her a wonderful gift in a sibling. A playmate, a partner in crime, a lifelong friend. And when Emelia came, there were definitely some difficult moments for Chloe, but also some beautiful ones. And the beautiful ones now outnumber any difficult ones. Looking back, I can think of ten things we did that made preparing for baby sister easier for Chloe. I’m sharing them here in hopes it might help another nervous second-time mama.
- Include your toddler or child in the pregnancy process. Let them see your growing belly, feel baby’s kicks and even talk to baby in the womb. If you know the baby’s sex and/or name, use it often to make it seem as real as possible.
- Nest away! Just like before your first baby, give in to those nesting instincts. Deep-clean, set up the nursery and do lots and lots of laundry. Use these times to talk about the coming baby with their sibling. Discuss how important it will be to keep certain areas clean and have things ready.
- Have big brother or sister join in decorating the baby’s new space. Colors, toys, stuffed animals … make it a fun project to work on together!
- Get big sister/big brother books for your toddler or child that you can read often. Chloe absolutely loved reading her big sister books every night, and I truly believe this was one of the main reasons she accepted her baby sister so easily.
- This is a more practical one, but important. Make arrangements for your little one to stay with friends or family when you are in the hospital. If possible, have someone come to your home to keep things as normal as possible for your child, but if that cannot happen for any reason, choose people that your child is very comfortable with.
- If possible, plan a special outing for your child when they are away from you for a few days. You want things to feel normal for them, but it’s also nice if they are kept busy and having fun.
- Have your toddler or child pick out a special gift for baby. This is something they can bring to the hospital or at the first meeting at home. It was fun seeing Chloe take ownership of choosing a present and helping me wrap it for Em.
- Pick out a gift for big brother or sister to open AFTER baby comes home. Your child will be overwhelmed when baby enters the house for the first time and everyone is acting differently. We gave Chloe a little diaper bag filled with diapering accessories for her baby doll. We knew she would like to change her dolly’s diaper every time we changed her sister’s diaper. Not only did she get a new present, but this was something she loved doing and it allowed for us to change Emelia’s diapers without too much “help” from Chloe. Then again, including them in anything with the baby can be a good thing. Bringing you a fresh diaper, getting a pacifier, picking out new clothes … you want them to feel like they are your helper (which sometimes they truly will be and other times, not so much!)
- This is a fun one. Plan a birthday party! When Chloe came to meet her sister in the hospital for the first time, she came in with her grandmother bringing cupcakes! Chloe loves herself a cupcake, and so she was so excited to sing Happy Birthday to Emelia and then eat cake! We also have the sweetest video of everyone singing in our hospital room.
- Soak up ALL the time you have with your only baby right now. Go on family outings, read one more story at bedtime, sneak in extra cuddles throughout the day. This is it, mamas. Everything changes once baby comes … for the good … but still. Take advantage of these last precious days.
xoxo, Heidi
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